24 September 2021

Today, I picked up more “Samla” containers from IKEA.

I’m running out of excuses to not get on with organizing my “stuff.”

Thoughts:

A couple of elderly family members are having to confront the realities of aging and declining capabilities in the face of not being prepared for it. I’m imagining a conversation they could have, but I don’t know if they will:

I’m not clear what you mean by “final decision.” The only decision that matters at this point is that we each live with our family members so we can receive the care we need within the resources we have available.

I based MY decision on YOUR previous and current decisions about our healthcare, money, and living arrangements. Obviously, you were taking care of yourself. And that’s OK because I could not be of help to you any longer. However, in light of events this summer, I realized that I did not TRUST you to be caring for me. And I knew I would have to make my own arrangements independent of you. And that’s OK, too, because you had your hands full doing what you needed to do for yourself and had little wherewithal left to deal with me.

Trust is a HUGE issue for me. Once it’s broken, it cannot be reclaimed. And I’m not saying in the least that you intended through your actions and with your family to erode my trust in you as a person. Rather it’s the result of the decline in our health, the changes in our needs, and the ways we respond to them. For that reason, I can say in all sincerity, “I love you.” Just don’t ask me to trust your judgement or to have my best interests at heart.

And yes, please stay in touch. You know where I am and we’re not that far apart!

Bahá’í Quote - Istiqlál, 18 ‘Izzat, 178 B.E.

Make haste to love! Make haste to trust! Make haste to give! To guidance come!

Come ye for harmony! To behold the Star of Day! Come here for kindliness, for ease! Come here for amity and peace!

Come and cast down your weapons of wrath, till unity is won! Come and in the Lord’s true path each one help each one. ¹